I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think i got beer on your cat.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
