is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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