I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
