She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
