There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
