Do you still have your period?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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