I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
