You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
