Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
