Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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