My cat gives me a boner
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
