Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
