i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
