I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
