break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
