Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Randomize
