Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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