Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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