Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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