I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
