woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Randomize
