Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
