my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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