just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
