My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
