That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize