Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
