I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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