what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
