But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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