Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
