You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
