Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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