I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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