sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
