wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
