I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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