Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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