I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
