I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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