i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
