it wasn't lemon gatorade
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
