new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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