Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
