you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
