She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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