I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize