i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
