youre lurking in front of me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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