I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
