I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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