omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
