are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
