When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
