I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just puked most of my soul out..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
